Search

Call Us
07760277987
Contact Us
info@intolerantgourmand.com

I knew it was coming! I’ve always known it was coming! I just never wanted to admit it was almost here, and now it's getting too close for comfort!

Last week, I got the shakes just turning my laptop on. That’s never happened to me before, not once. I usually have absolutely no problem with it. It’s an everyday occurrence that we all take for granted, right?

So what made this day so different?

School!

Or more specifically, school admissions.

Now, it’s not the first time we’ve had to do this. Our eldest, Chloe, has been at school for more than 3 years now, and we had to go through the admissions process with her. So, we know what we’re doing. But that was fun, exciting, a new chapter to look forward to.

What makes things so very different this time, is that the admissions process is for Callum.

callum nebuliser 480x510

What’s the big deal?

It’s ‘only’ an application!

But that’s where I have to stop you, it really isn’t ‘only’ an application. It’s so very much more.

I have been fearing this day almost since the day he was born.

The thought of Callum going to school fills me with a fear so paralysing, words can’t truly describe. I am utterly petrified at the very idea of him going to school.

I’ve managed so far, to get him to 4 years of age. Trust me, this has been no easy goal to reach. We’ve almost lost him 3 times. He’s like a cat with 9 lives, and he’s slowly using them up. I just have to pray that he doesn’t use any more!

For those of you who follow the blog, you know how hard it is to keep Callum safe, and to protect him from the constant danger of reactions.

He’s surrounded by his allergens on a daily basis, but we’re able to protect him because he only comes into contact with a handful of people, and they are all acutely aware of his needs and how to be around him.

So, going to school is going to take a MASSIVE leap of faith. It is gut wrenching, stomach churning, heart stopping kind of stuff.

I teach clients every day how to deal with allergies, how to empower their little ones to overcome some often very difficult food aversions. I provide solutions to food allergies, and show that there can be variety, and that food doesn’t need to be boring, even if you are having to avoid some pretty major food groups, I’ve never dealt with any little ones starting school.

BUT, the mumma bear instinct is now kicking in.

I’ve trained Callum so much over the past 4 years:

  • He knows what makes him ill
  • He knows all of his medicines (of which there are 8 shelves in his own medicine cabinet)
  • He knows what each of them do
  • He knows what to do with an epi-pen and when to use it
  • He knows when he ends up (more often than not) in hospital that they will put in a cannula, and he hides his hand because he hates them
  • He knows it takes weeks to recover from even a mild reaction, because it can offset his eczema and result in infected skin

I know it too!

We’ve visited a number of schools, and even pulled Chloe out of her old school because they just didn’t ‘get it’ when it came to allergies and cross contamination.

Chloe’s now in a new school, which to be fair, is bloody fantastic!

When we had a look round, it was with Callum in mind. The head teacher actually had me in tears at one point when he was explaining that they have an outright nut ban policy. If they even see a Nutella sandwich, it’s confiscated and there’s a phone call home to the parents. When he found out about Callum’s other severe allergies, he said they would either ban them too, or create a policy we as his parents would be happy with because, and I quote, ‘his safety is paramount’.

You can see why I cried, and I’m not ashamed to admit it, the mascara was running!

But even with all of this, mistakes can happen.

I know the little signs of a reaction happening!

I know that Callum gets angry when he’s feeling crappy because he doesn’t know how to handle the emotional aspect that comes with reactions.

I know he needs to lie down and sleep it off for half an hour to give him the strength he needs to carry on with the rest of the day.

I know he likes to be left to do things himself as he starts to come out the other side, almost like he’s proving to himself that he ‘can’ still do things.

I now need to pass this on to his new teachers, and I’m sure they will take on board most, if not all that I tell them.

The biggest concern to me, is cross contamination.

We as adults know to be mindful of what we touch, and to wash our hands as soon as we’ve eaten anything that could put Callum at risk.

But, at school it’s different.

Take this example:

It’s break time, the kids are going to grab their snacks. Some have tomatoes, some have strawberries. Both of which are major triggers for Callum, to the point where if he has strawberry he stops breathing in under 1 minute, actually, even quicker.

So, the kids are running around, touching stuff while eating, and then go back to learning at the end of break, and haven’t washed their hands thoroughly.

One touches a desk or a chair, and has still wet strawberry/ tomato juice on their hands. It transfers to the desk or chair.

Callum comes along, touches it, scratches his mouth/ face…..

That would be a 999 call, and me chasing an ambulance to the hospital.

It’s that easy to slip up!

I’m actually shaking as I type this, because I know that come September next year, I am powerless to help him, and I have to put the trust in the school to listen to the seriousness of his situation, to actually act on the training, and to pray that Callum remains acutely aware of his surroundings and shouts bloody quickly if he doesn’t ‘feel right’.

I have Callum’s Consultants, Dietician, Allergist, GP etc all supporting us in the next step of his journey, and willing to provide whatever is needed to help to keep him safe.

But the biggest thing I can’t shake, and it’s constantly keeping me awake at night, what if it’s not enough? What if everything I’ve done, and everything I’ve set up, and everything I’ve taught still isn’t enough to keep him safe!?

What would you do? Have you been through it? How on earth have you coped? How on earth do I keep this little dude safe once he starts his next chapter?

dsc 0423 1024x681

Comments   

0 # Guest 2015-11-09 22:13
Oh Honey, I think I was holding my breath the whole time it took me to read your post... I can relate so much. That fear when it comes to school, that anger Jumpy displays when a reaction is brewing up. Although her allergies are not half as bad as Callum's, I am also scared about school, so scared in fact that I feel myself getting into 'stress mode' (sweaty palms, heartbeat accelerating...) although we still have a year before school really start. They really GET her allergies at the pre-school where she's just started and they've been aHmazing! I think it might make the transition to school even harder (for me!). Xxxxxx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:03
It's so very hard isn't it! It's taken me this long to be able to reply to you all because every time I try to read the comments, I get emotional again! I can totally relate to the 'stress mode', you're describing me perfectly! I've also had a permanent tension headache, and insomnia has kicked in too! It sounds like Jumpy is in an amazing pre-school, so fingers crossed when she goes to school it will continue! xxx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-09 22:37
Oh lovely, we don't have the same severity of allergies with M, but we do have the most amazing school, who have supported us and him every step of the way. They've listened, they've adapted and they continually check with me to make sure things will work for him - or if they don't, ask what we can do to make them work. Likewise we have seen a similar attitude at their Stagecoach school, not just for M, but for the little girl with severe nut allergies too. They have a process of eating snacks (which must be nut-free) in a single room, she has her own space, and no child can leave, even to go to the toilet unless they use wipes to clean their hands.

Today was a scary one for me - the first time M has been on a school trip with his NG-tube in place. I didn't go with him because 1) he didn't want me to and 2) I know I can trust the school and the wonderful support staff with his care - I trust them impeccably. He had a great day, I survived the day at work (just!) and that's another box ticked. Hope the application process goes well and you reach as good a position with his school as we have achieved with M's. Rxxx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:05
Oh my goodness!! You are braver than me! What a tough day to go through, but also, how amazing that it went as well as it did! That must give you so much hope for the future! He sounds like he has the most amazing school, wow! xx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-09 22:45
So Beautifully written that I actually cried. I hope that you find peace in your decision. The school sounds like a wonderful school willing to make every child feel welcome! Such a great thing to hear!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:06
Thank you so much for your kind words! I really hope the school is able to deliver, it certainly sounds that way, so now we have to watch and wait, and pray! x
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-09 23:17
I just want to hug you. What a huge stress for you. My daughter has allergies but none life threatening thank goodness. You sounds like you have a very bright and capable little boy and a fantastic supportive school. Wishing you all the best in your decision. Xxx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:06
Hug gratefully received!! Thank you for your lovely words xx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-10 04:03
you have turned a problem into a solution, now you must trust. Trust in your instincts to find the right school, trust in your love and caring and guidance to teach him all that he needs to help keep himself safe. And of course trust in God to keep safe in his arms. You have only two choices really---to keep him safe and secure in the warm, wonderful cocoon you have designed for and with him, or to let him become the butterfly and start the journey to fly free. Not an easy choice but you two are wonderful parents who will do what is best for Callum. Love you Papa and Ruth Mary
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:08
Thank you RM!! It's a very frightening journey, and I'm not ready for it yet! I wish so much that we could keep him safe here with us, but his allergies restrict him from doing things already, I can't take school and the making of new friends away from him! He needs to be able to experience it. I just pray he stays safe! xx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-10 07:20
I feel your pain! When my daughter started school they had never had a child with an allergy, I considered home school because the risks seemed intolerable. There have been issues, such as friends bringing nutella sandwiches in at lunch because they forgot, whey should they remember it is not entrenched in their life? And the time a stand in PE teacher thought she was being lazy when she chose to sit out as her chest was tight so he tried to make her run around the field IDIOT. But we have nearly made it. She is in year 11 and never had to use her epipen at school yet!
All I can say is bring up a confident kid that will not be scared to talk about their allergies and every year it will get easier. Best of luck x.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:10
OMG!! How can a teacher make a child struggling to breathe, partake in a running exercise?! It gave me the shivers reading that! Thank you for giving me hope! For your daughter to have made it to year 11 is a huge deal, and I'm sure it's had many many stressful times! Well done to you, I know how hard a journey this must have been! x
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-10 16:16
I know you haven't mentioned it but have you ever thought of home schooling Callum?
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:11
It's certainly something we've considered! The allergies have taken so much from him, it would be cruel to take the chance of experiencing school and the making of new friends away from him! We just have to pray he stays safe, otherwise we'll definitely have to revisit this option! x
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-16 10:14
I see what you mean it s a whole other experience. I think my friends kids were lucky because their Mum was friends with lots of other home schoolers and their children so it was a little community in that area. I see how it could be very lonely though. Well it sounds like you have taught/prepared him well x
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-10 16:20
Oh my goodness, applying for a school is hard enough but having to deal with that extra worry must be insurmountable. It sounds like the school you have selected is understanding. Best of luck. x
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:13
It's been a tough time for sure!! Sometimes it would be so nice to have a pause button so we can protect and keep them safe for longer while we figure out the best possible solution! x
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-10 19:33
It's very stressful, I can understand completely. A few things might help... He doesn't have to start full time or full days- that might cut down potential lunch time issues; the school have a duty of care 'every child matters' to protect his safety and well being and will be breaking the law if they don't fulfil this so they have a very strong duty to keep him safe; you could consider home-schooling until he is old enough?; in the UK a child does not have to be legally in school until the term in which they turn 5 so even if he did just an hour a day he would be, or had a delayed start it might be better for you all?; he will be on the special educational needs register as a medical child which will mean they have to monitor and review practices continually and allocate a person to doing this; could you go into school with him and the teacher and identify every single time he is in an 'at risk' situation so that they become much more accutely aware? I am scared for my son too, and his allergies are far less life threatening ( although there are many). I guess we have to try and trust the professionals- you know best though, so just don't do anything with him that you are not comfortable with. God bless you all on this difficult journey xxx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:17
Thank you so much, some brilliant possibilites for me to explore!

We have been considering the request of half days for the first half of term, just to give him a chance to get used to it all, and to stop his body getting too tired! Half the problem he has is that when he's too tired, his body just doesn't function properly, and that's when he's more likely to catch colds/ viruses etc which upset the applecart!

I'm planning on doing a series of assemblies with the school, and his class to prepare them. And also to assist if they will let me, with the cooking classes. As part of my business, I run cooking workshops anyway, it's something that could be of interest to them. But, ultimately it would mean that I could watch and keep him safe, but not be seeing to be doing so in his eyes - mummy would 'just be working', like he's used to now! x
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-10 20:52
Oh wow! This makes me realise how easy my life is. I can't imagine how stressful it must be to think about Callum being out of your site but I guess you have two choices...you trust others to look after him or you keep him at home and home educate him. A very tough choice to make and I don't envy you at all. We know a girl (now a teenager) who is home educated because of her allergies. It is sad if we cannot as a society protect children with allergies at school, but as you say, food gets smeared everywhere by innocent little people! My heart really does go out to you. Stay strong and do what you think is best for your little man. And please, lets hope he grows out of some of the allergies as he gets older and stronger. xxx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:19
Thank you lovely! It's been a ridiculously difficult time, which is not likely to change any time soon! Home schooling is definitely something we've considered, and may be a route we have to take if things don't work out. I would hope that with all the things Callum has had to have restricted, life wouldn't be so cruel as to take away the experience of school and making new friends!

I hope and pray every day that he will grow out of his allergies, but sadly his tests each year are proving otherwise! xx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-10 21:24
I was about to write something very similar to what Vicki has above. Sending hugs & strength your way lovely. You'll make the right decision xxx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:20
Thank you hun! Hugs and kind words gratefully received! I really hope we do make the right decision for him, you just never know do you x
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Guest 2015-11-10 21:50
Gosh I have to say that's a really tough one. My daughter has nut & oral allergies. Strawberrys were pretty bad and most fruit & vedge. The school were amazing teaching all the children to immediately spot anything she couldn't eat. They actually would love shouting out if a foreign substance was found. I think the school should offer a 1 to 1 assistant for you especially as it's so severe. I don't think I would send him if not. You should persist too as its life treatning. Hope you get some help with this.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2015-11-16 10:22
That's a brilliant idea! To turn the watchfulness into a game, makes children want to help more! I shall incorporate this into the assemblies I'm putting together to teach the school and his peers.

I am looking into seeing if it's possible to get him a 1-1 TA just for meal times, as it would be a huge weight off my mind to know I can train someone to effectively be me, and to know he would be 'safe'. x
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator
0 # Midgie 2016-04-13 14:15
Its a horrible horrible time to actually trust the safety of your little people with someone else especially under these circumstances. Half days are a good start, 1:1 TA at lunchtimes (or at the girls school we can go for lunch!). Build a good relationship with his teacher but his biggest allies are going to be his friends. Chances are he wont be the only one with allergies and stopping cross contamination is part of health & hygiene so good to educate them... using a spot of paint on a ball and letting the children see what happens as they all touch the paint and where it all ends up is a good one to show them how allergens spread. Hang in there mummy! xxx
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote | Report to administrator

Add comment

Security code
Refresh