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With a diagnosis of multiple allergies, and living with the daily battles associated with eczema, it's easy to forget about the rest of the challenges involved. You wouldn't think so, but simple things like going to a toddler group can become a massive nightmare. I remember thinking it would be good to get out of the house and give Callum and myself a change of scenery and something new to do. Quick solution, attend a local baby and toddler group where Callum could play with other children of his age and take his mind off things. It would have been lovely if it were that simple!

 

callum happy

Now admittedly, Callum was having a bad eczema day, so his skin wasn't brilliant. However, it doesn't excuse what happened next! Callum had been playing with 2 other children, merrily tooting their cars, trucks and tractors round a toy garage and car mat. Suddenly, 1 of the children gets hoicked up so fast by its mother it doesn't know what's happening and gets upset. As I turn around in surprise I hear the words:

'come on (name) we don't want you playing here, you'll catch something!'

I was so shocked, as was Callum by the brutal reaction that the mother had, that I was stunned into silence. I should have come back with a quick or smart response, but it just took me so completely by surprise that I couldn't say anything!

My gorgeous boy, who suffers beyond belief, was suddenly being treated like a leper. I know that many people don't truly understand eczema and everything associated with it, but to react in such an extreme way....!

Mortified is an understatement, and I am ashamed to say that instead of holding my head high and being strong enough to bat it off, I had little strength in me to do much more than pack our things up and quietly walk out and head home. If I could go do it again, I would have educated the mother on what eczema really is, and how it constantly affects every single thing that Callum does on a day to day basis. But most importantly, it's not his fault he is the way he is, and looks the way he does, so chucking about casual, hurtful comments about him is not the way to react when seeing him. I really worry about what Callum will have to deal with when he is old enough to go to school, and we're not there to protect and shield him from such unfairness and thoughtlessness!

It took a long time for me to have the confidence to take Callum back to a toddler group, and even then, we only ever attend one where all the mums and children know Callum and his condition well!

Comments   

0 # Guest 2014-01-31 01:47
That is so sad. Sad for Callum and for you. I have been there though, standing speechless rather than speaking up. I imagined in my head what I would say if anyone ever said anything negative, but when the hurtful words come out, it hits you like a ton of bricks.
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0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2014-01-31 13:24
I'm so sorry you've had to go through this as well, it's utterly heartbreaking, and shouldn't happen! As a mother, all you want to do is protect your child, and I really felt as if I'd let Callum down! Thank you for your support, and I hope that all is well with you now.
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0 # Guest 2014-01-31 17:27
Yes, much much better. We spent a lot of time educating people. Now I am known as "The allergy queen" or "The Lady with the purple hair" and everyone knows that is who you call for allergy questions (or if you are out of Benadryl LOL. It does get better. It just takes time and a lot of explaining.
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0 # Guest 2014-01-31 14:55
Sometimes people are so awful you can't respond because you can't believe they actually said what you thought they had said. It is her loss. Georgie loves playing with Callum xx
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0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2014-01-31 15:25
Thank you!! Callum loves playing with Georgie too! xx
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0 # Guest 2014-02-03 10:00
It's horrible to think people are still behaving this way towards eczema. I was treated like this at school but that was many years ago now so you'd think that attitudes would have changed
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0 # The Intolerant Gourmand 2014-02-03 21:06
Oh you poor thing, I'm so sorry to hear that you have gone through this as well, it's just horrid and so unnecessary! I was taught as a kid that if I had nothing nice to say, then don't say anything! Seems as if this should be educated to many more people!!

I really hope that things are better for you now, and that you don't have to deal with such prejudices any more! x
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0 # Guest 2014-10-29 16:36
[…] tend to be the victim of bullying, no matter their age. It hurts my heart to write this, but sadly, through my own experiences with Callum, I know it’s […]
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